I’m a perfectionist and want everything to be a certain way and will restart a game 40 thousand times until I get it how I want. I’ll play like it’s my job for about a week straight.

But I have a pattern.

I always, always, always completely abandon the game in like a month (sometimes less).

Sometimes it’s because the ADHD hyperfixation has simply faded. My squirrel brain has moved on to some new hobby or activity.

Sometimes it’s because I straight-up burnt myself out.

Usually, after I’ve moved on to something else, I’ll think back and wonder “What was the POINT of all that?”

And by “all that” — I mean all the time I spent playing the game, strategizing and building and creating things that live strictly inside a gaming console.

This is usually where I start to spiral — when I come to the realization that all that time I invested is “wasted.”

Now, I don’t ACTUALLY think time spent gaming is wasted. Doing things just for the sake of enjoyment is a thing. You SHOULD have those types of hobbies in my opinion.

But the way I approach gaming is completely solo. I don’t like multiplayer stuff. So I’m essentially building elaborate worlds and creating strategies that exist only in my head and on a screen, with zero external human interaction or validation.

And that’s exactly how I used to feel about working in the online space, too.

When you’re building a business all from behind a screen, in complete isolation — it can sometimes start to feel just as fake and pointless as my abandoned Stardew Valley farm.

How To Make The Thing You’re Building Online Feel More “Real”

I go back and forth on this feeling all the time.

But the ONE thing that’s really made a difference for me, so I’m not constantly feeling like I’m pouring endless amounts of time and energy into working on something that isn’t… real? That doesn’t technically “exist” in the real world?

Pulling REAL people into my orbit — even if it’s just in a virtual sense.

If you’re spending all of your time building something that’s 100% online, AND you’re also doing it in complete solitude, then yeah. You’re going to feel like what you’re building isn’t real.

I keep it no secret that I failed at full-time freelance writing not just once, but twice.

And when I look back on both of those failures, one thing is clear to me: I existed solely in my own little bubble. Clients assigned me work, I did it, then they paid me. But we never really “interacted.”

I was “building” something that felt like it existed almost entirely in my own head. Where I was trying to build an actual business, my clients simply saw me as another cog in their wheel. Because we didn’t talk in any capacity outside of the basic formalities — “here’s the draft” or “payment sent” — there was no real relationship there.

So when those clients fizzled out, one by one, my “business” toppled down like a house of cards in 2 seconds flat.

And it felt like all the time I’d spent working towards it had been wasted.

When I started my new business earlier this year, I knew I wanted to do things differently. I knew that if I wanted to build something that would be actually sustainable AND able to hold my interest, I needed to make it feel more “real” than my previous freelancing attempts.

Here’s how I’ve been doing that:

→ Cold pitching: Despite the bad rep it gets, it’s been a surprisingly helpful relationship-builder for me. It’s actually how I got my first ever client for my new services! And I’ve also pitched a couple people who ultimately rejected me, but we interact regularly online and have formed a sort of friendship. The key though is that I ONLY cold pitch people I already follow/like and genuinely think could use my services.

→ Collaborating and featuring others: I’ve started actively collaborating with others in the online space — featuring other creators in my content, shouting them out when relevant, and recently I’ve had the opportunity to guest blog on some websites of really amazing business owners. Every time I do something like this, I’m reminded that there are actual humans on the other side of my screen.

→ Using social media: I have a massive aversion to posting on social media, and find it really emotionally draining and dysregulating as a scroller, BUT I joined Threads earlier this year and I have so many fun interactions on there. I’ve made virtual friends with several people on the platform, and it’s been such a great way to remind myself that there are other real people out there doing the same things I’m doing.

If you’ve been having this nagging feeling that your online work is “pointless” or even “fake” lately, I urge you to lean into one of these things.

Because when you’re building entirely online AND doing it in isolation, your brain struggles to see it as “real work.” There’s no tangible feedback loop or human validation that what you’re creating matters.

But the moment you have an actual conversation with someone you pitched, or see someone share your guest post with genuine excitement, or make an online friend who puts their two cents in on your posts?

That stuff has weight. Suddenly your online work stops feeling like a video game empire that disappears when you close the console.

It starts feeling like something real you’re building alongside actual people.

But I was.

Every summer throughout my childhood, my cousin (who lived in a different state) and I would spend a week-long stint at one of our houses. Because we lived hours apart, our time together was few and far between.

So when we DID get together, that time was sacred. And we were pretty much the queens of coming up with creative ways to play.

One visit in particular, we decided to play with… rocks.

We meticulously picked out the nicest-looking, best-shaped rocks and drew faces on them.

And once we had our little army of pet rocks, it didn’t stop there.

They were our pets, so of course we had to take care of them. Which meant making supplies for them. Gathering plants from outside and turning them into “pet food.” I even remember fashioning a POOPER SCOOPER out of paper 😂

We were so into it that we probably played with our pet rocks for hours.

The next morning at breakfast, little-kid-me sat excitedly at the kitchen bar, ready to get back to it – only to find that the magic was just…

GONE.

Sure, we could have forced ourselves to keep caring for our lil pet rocks.

But it would have been miserable for the both of us.

(Probably the pet rocks, too)

How I Knew It Was Time To Kill My Business Newsletter (And Start Over)

The adult version of me has experienced the same feeling of realizing something just isn’t quite right anymore.

Maybe you’ve experienced the same.

You wake up one day and the magic has left the building.

This is exactly what happened with the business newsletter I started back in September (called Sunny Sampler).

I liked the concept. I loved the fun little segments I created. But actually sitting down to write it? A dragggg.

I was constantly finding reasons to push it off, and what was supposed to be a biweekly newsletter turned into monthly. And even then I was STILL procrastinating.

And here’ssss where it gets tricky for us ADHDers:

When you’ve got a mile-long roster of abandoned projects behind you, as so many of us do, how are you supposed to know when something isn’t working vs. when you’re just bored and want the dopamine hit of something new?

There’s real danger in constantly abandoning things before giving them a real shot. I call this the Revolving Door of Grand Ideas – and I wrote about it in last week’s newsletter.

Knowing when to push through and when to let go definitely isn’t easy, but here are a few signs to look out for:

Signs it’s time to let go and pivot:

• You still love the general concept but hate the process of executing it

• You’ve given it a genuine effort (3-6+ months ideally)

• The process feels like pulling teeth every. single. time.

• It’s not serving you (or your business) the way you thought it would

• It’s not getting you the results you want… like, at ALL

Signs you’re just in the Revolving Door:

• You’re bored after just a few weeks

• It’s hard so you want to try something “easier”

• You haven’t actually promoted the thing or given it a real chance

• You’re already fantasizing about the next amazing new thing

• The ONLY problem you have is that results aren’t coming fast enough

The reason I KNEW I needed to kill my business newsletter instead of pushing through was because the friction didn’t just stem from it feeling “boring” or “hard.”

It was more so the fact that literally nothing about it worked the way I originally intended. I kept procrastinating because the format that was meant to give me freedom to explore topics actually felt constraining, it didn’t showcase my expertise the way I wanted, and it wasn’t even directly tied to my offers (so it felt completely disconnected from its primary purpose of growing my business).

Your permission slip (with caveats): If something isn’t working, you don’t have to keep forcing it just to prove you’re not a quitter or because you feel bad about wasting your time or effort.

BUT.

Be honest with yourself about WHY you want to quit. Make sure you’re not actually just going round and round in the Revolving Door of Grand Ideas.

But instead of going round and round and stepping off into the hotel lobby, you step off into your next Grand Idea™.

Because the thing about us ADHDers is that everything we start somehow has the tendency to grow into something way bigger than we ever intended.

And when I say everything, I mean everything – whether it be a new job, side hustle, hobby, or someone else’s hobby that we just think is cool.

Like the time my car got towed in college and I had to pay like 100-something dollars to get it back. I was so mad about it that, naturally, I started a WHOLE ETSY SHOP selling digital products I made in Canva and ended up growing that shop to 700+ sales.

And I have plenty more stories just like that, like the time I…

📸 Started a whole photography business simply because my college journalism classes taught me my way around a camera. Lasted approximately 5 minutes.

🦮 Built a whole website for a new pet sitting business that I never started – all because I was a W2 employee for another pet sitting company and figured, “Hey, I could do this.”

🐩 Researched the possibility of buying a shed and starting a whole dog grooming business… because I started grooming my own standard poodle to save money.

👩🏻‍💻 Decided I was going to make money from blogging and proceeded to start and then abandon 4897 blogs (none of them exist today btw).

💰 Randomly considered becoming an accountant (?!?), to the point of planning out how many classes it would take to graduate, stressing about CPA exam pass rates, and researching how to start an accounting firm. Did I mention I HATE math?

I wish I was kidding about any one of these, butttt I’m unfortunately not.

The Revolving Door Of Grand Ideas (And When You Need To Just Stay In The Lobby)

This aspect of ADHD can make you feel incredibly flakey.

The ability to constantly jump from one thing to the next can be a blessing, but in my experience, it’s mostly just a curse.

There’s something to be said for being willing (and able) to pivot quickly. It means that when you randomly come up with the perfect offer, or see a need for something that you can execute, you can act on it quickly.

But it also means that you probably have a tendency to GIVE UP on your ideas way too quickly.

We impulsively chase ideas, pursue them for 5 seconds, and then when nothing happens, we burn them to the ground, not ever really giving them a chance to show results. I’m speaking from experience here because I’ve done this approximately 4,000 times.

Which is precisely why you need to get OUT of that revolving door.

Because every time you step through it into a new Grand Idea, you’re starting from scratch. Sure, it feels nice to have a fresh slate where all the possibilities are open. Like you could build anything and the world is your oyster.

But a fresh slate usually also means developing new skills from scratch. Coming up with new systems from scratch. Growing a new audience from scratch.

That exciting fresh start feeling is literally just a dopamine high. But once you’re knee-deep into your new thing?

You’ll remember you STILL have to do the work to become successful, and it’s gonna take a longgg time to get there, and maybe as the cherry-on-top you also realize that you actually hate this idea after all.

Then you hop back on the revolving door and wait for your next Grand Idea and the cycle repeats.

I look back at all of my abandoned ideas – the photography business, the pet sitting site I spent hourssss on and then deleted, the hypothetical dog grooming shed – and sometimes I can’t help but wonder:

What if I’d actually stuck with just ONE of them long enough to really see it through? How different could my life look today?

I don’t say that in a woe-is-me way, either. Just in a curious, what-if kinda way.

The revolving door wastes your time, your energy, and your creative resources. Not to mention running in circles all the time is just… exhausting.

Eventually, you gotta step off and *actually* build something.

Which is what I’m actually somehow managing to do with Sunny Send Up, mostly thanks to Ritalin and my business coach 🤣

I’m not saying you should force yourself to stick with an idea just for the sake of it. But if you find yourself constantly in the revolving door, always stepping into the next Grand Idea before giving the current one a real chance… you might want to consider just chilling in the hotel lobby for a little while.

Truly, October as a whole has just been one of THOSE months.

The kids are a revolving door of various sicknesses. And I’ve been practically inhaling headache powder for like a week straight now.

Our house is still under construction and a hot MESS and I have no designated workspace or even a freaking desk 🙃

(and as a result, I’m completely horizontal under the covers as I write this)

The TL;DR version is that I’m over it.

But I have newsletters to send, a discovery call to host, and guest blogs to write this week. (Also, about 39487 more boards of trim to paint, but that’s another story)

So I’m keeping this newsletter short-ish today, for possibly the first time ever.

The Weekly Mental Reset That’s Been Keeping Me Sane

Week to week, things have been… muddy. 9 times out of 10, I end it feeling like I accomplished nothing (even though I most definitely DID accomplish things).

So I’ve started spending some dedicated time at the beginning of each week reflecting and taking stock of those accomplishments and planning for the week ahead.

All I do is jot down 4 quick lists in a notebook - seriously it takes me like 20 minutes max.

🗂️ LAST WEEK: Tasks I completed, fun wins that weren’t on my to-do list, nice things people said about me, etc. Just anything good from the previous week to remind myself that progress WAS made.

🗂️ THIS WEEK: All the tasks I plan to get done in the current week, with the highest-priority items starred. This may change later in the week, but gives me a good starting point so I’m not aimless on Monday.

🗂️ AFFIRMATIONS: I like to keep the affirmations I’ve been trying to repeat to myself right here so I see them frequently.

🗂️ UP IN THE AIR: This is for any project or collaboration that’s still outstanding or needs to be actioned by me, but doesn’t necessarily need to be done within the week. I keep my Google Calendar in the weekly view 90% of the time, so if a due date doesn’t fall in the current week, I tend to just kinda forget that project exists. This helps.

If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed or aimless or like you’re not making any progress, give this a go (or tweak it to your liking).

Lately, it’s truly been the difference between ending my weeks feeling accomplished vs. ending them wondering what the heck I even did.

That’s a longggg time for a plant that isn’t even, like, a main vegetable. Nobody I know is eating garlic by the bulb on a regular basis.

If you are, I’m equal parts impressed and terrified by you, and please reply to this newsletter to let me know who you are lolol

So why am I so interested in garlic? Because my partner’s mom recently planted some of her own and was telling me about it.

I did a bit of research on it (because, well, ADHD squirrel brain), and it turns out that garlic is one of the easiest crops to grow. But also one of the longest to harvest.

I mean, we’re talking about almost a dang YEAR to harvest what is essentially just an… ingredient.

Don’t get me wrong, I love me some garlic, but I’m not gonna be out here treating it as a main portion of any dish.

Waiting a year for it seems insane to me.

5 Seeds You Can Plant In Your Biz To Harvest Later

I’ve been feeling a bit like a freshly planted garlic clove lately.

It’s like I’ve been putting so much work into growing my online presence and telling people about my services… all for not much reward, if I’m being honest.

Which, for us ADHDers is an actual nightmare. We NEED dopamine to stay motivated.

But something I’ve been telling myself recently is that everything I’m doing, I’m doing in the hopes that it’ll compound and come back to me.

Essentially, I’m planting seeds to harvest later.

It’s still delayed gratification, which sucks, but telling myself I’m planting seeds that will eventually yield results seems to provide justtt enough dopamine to keep me going.

Here are the biz seeds I’ve been planting and that you can plant in your slow seasons, too:

🧄 Guest on somebody’s blog (or podcast)

You can find guest opportunities on social media, through existing connections, or simply by pitching yourself if you have a specific blog/show you reallyyy want to be on. Making guest appearances is a great way to get in front of new audiences and also usually comes with the perk of getting a backlink (great for SEO).

TIME TO HARVEST: Immediate to a few weeks (you get exposure right away, but relationship-building/backlink benefits takes months)

🧄 Create a roundup/piece of content that features other creators

This is a really subtle way of becoming more “known.” Reaching out to and spotlighting people in your industry can help you make friends, which may lead to referrals later. People also usually appreciate being featured in other’s content and will often share it with THEIR audience.

TIME TO HARVEST: 1-4 weeks (people typically share quickly when featured, giving you immediate exposure to their audience)

🧄 Do a free project in exchange for a testimonial

Limit yourself here, but if you’re service-based and inquiries have been slow, offering a free project to someone you reallyyyy wanna work with can be a fun way to get a new shiny testimonial and portfolio piece to show off. Ideally, these kinds of testimonials will ultimately lead to future work.

TIME TO HARVEST: 1-3 months (you get the testimonial right away, but it takes time to turn that social proof into paid work)

🧄 Send a cold pitch to somebody you’d love to work with

Cold pitching doesn’t have to be scary or feel sleazy, and if you don’t believe me, read this newsletter here. Pitching, in my experience, is one of the FASTEST seeds you can plant — it’s just that the success rate is low. But when they work, they work quickly.

→ RESOURCE: My 3-part pitch formula (+ the actual cold pitch that landed my first client)

TIME TO HARVEST: Days to weeks (fastest potential payoff, but requires volume since most pitches don’t convert)

🧄 Write an SEO-optimized blog post

Like garlic, blogging takes a while to bloom into anything tangible. But if you focus on writing keyword-optimized blogs on topics that your ideal clients/customers are searching for/have questions about, eventually those efforts will start to pay off. SEO-optimized content = organic traffic to your website from search engines like Google + Pinterest.

TIME TO HARVEST: 6-12+ months (the slowest seed, but compounds over time as Google indexes and ranks your content)

Speaking of SEO-optimized blog posts…

If the idea of starting a blog to grow your online presence or business sounds nice, but also totally overwhelming, know that you don’t have to start from scratch.

You can take your old content – like your old emails – and transform and repackage them into longform, search-friendly content that Google loves.

And it’s wayyy easier than growing garlic (but I do have a black thumb, so maybe that’s just me).

→ Read the newsletter repurposing guide

→ Check out my content repurposing services

The life in which we folded the bath towels.

And the life after we STOPPED folding the bath towels.

(And by we, I pretty much just mean my mom, who did basically all of the household laundry. Thx mom)

I’m not sure of the exact reasons, or what it was that inspired her new method, but one day she just decided that clean towels could just… exist.

They got their own assigned laundry basket where they were unceremoniously dumped after finishing in the dryer.

Sure, it may seem “weird” to some, but it worked great for everyone in the house. And it saved my mom from doing a bunch of folding that, if you think about it, was honestly kind of pointless anyway.

None of our lives were impacted by whether or not the towels were “properly” folded.

After all, they were just gonna sit in a closet where nobody could see them anyways. And it’s not like it matters if towels get wrinkled from sitting in a basket.

Really, she had the right idea.

Why waste time folding the bath towels if you just don’t wanna, and it’s not hurting anyone if they’re NOT folded?

Needless to say, I carried her towel laundering and storage method into adulthood.

I refuseee to fold a square cloth into a slightly smaller square just so it looks good on a hidden shelf in the closet. Nah. I’ll just throw ‘em in a bin instead.

When To Ignore Business Advice & Industry Best Practices

There are a lot of people online with VERY strong opinions about the things you need to do as a creative/business owner/online service provider.

You NEED to have a website. You NEED to start an email list. You NEED to be on this or that platform.

I’m no exception – I have lots of my own opinions on how things “should” be done.

But the thing is, while some of these opinions DO have some merit, they aren’t the end-all be-all of advice. I strongly believe that what works for people’s brains and businesses comes down a lot to the individual.

Which is exactly why I launched (and publicly announced) my “completed” new website, which was, in fact, not technically complete.

And it still isn’t complete, three weeks later…

See, my website (which I am so proud of, honestly) is missing one absolutely CRUCIAL element: an “About” page.

If there are any website designers or copywriters reading this, you’ll probably agree that I’ve committed a cardinal sin here.

Bc the four website pages EVERY website needs are: Home, About, Services (or Products), Contact.

And I still don’t have an About page. It’s in the works, but honestly, I have no clue when I’ll actually be done with it.

I knew that launching a website without such a key page wasn’t ideal. After all, the “About” page is generally the 2nd most-visited page on a website. I didn’t want people to wonder where tf it was or think I was some kind of AI-bot for not having one (bc nothing screams “scammy” like not having any information about you on your site).

But I also knew that if I waited until I had the About page ready to go, I’d likely STILL not have a finished website to share. And I’d be holding myself back from sending new pitches, reaching out to expand my network, and publishing blog posts if I still had an ugly website I was embarrassed of.

So I made the executive decision to ignore website best practices and release my site to the world without an About page.

It’s not the first piece of gold standard business advice I’ve ignored.

And I’m sure it won’t be the last.

Because one thing about having an ADHD brain is that when you wanna do something a certain way, you’re bound and determined to see it through.

Not all business advice is created equal. And as they say, rules are made to be broken.

You know yourself best. There is incredible value in knowing the “gold standards” of your industry, and leaning on mentors and peers for advice, but at the end of the day, you have the executive decision-making power.

So if you’ve been avoiding a task or project or putting off something you want to do because it’s not 100% in line with “best practices” —

Maybe it’s time to throw the towels in a basket and be done with it.

(Yes, I have a hairless cat. His name is Benji. He’s insane. Cat tax pic below)

He’s been staying with my parents while my partner and I wrap up our home build, and of course the one time I came to visit was also magically the time he decided to become near deathly ill.

He stopped eating, wasn’t getting out of bed at all (when usually he’s a total menace), and was vomiting everywhere. It was scary.

The last thing I ever thought could be causing it? A giant hairball stuck in his digestive tract.

Yup, not kidding.

What I thought was just a simple case of a kitty stomach bug turned into a full week of chaos, back and forth trips to the vet on three separate days, two sets of X-rays (one that looked very grim, to be honest), and $500+ spent.

Until he FINALLY began to recover and I discovered the matted hairball that he’d at some point vomited up under a bed in all the madness.

This is when I feel I must remind you that he’s hairless. So there was no hair on his person (or should I say, his cat) to ingest.

And there are also no other animals in the home.

So this hairball, wherever it came from and whoever it belonged to, was a complete and utter mystery.

The vet was just as surprised as I was at the discovery.

After the incident resolved itself, I took to searching the house high and low for the culprit to avoid it happening again. And I’m honestly still not sure where the hairball came from. I have a couple ideas, but no concrete proof.

I fear we may never know. 😬

When Searching For The Right Answers Is A Waste Of Time

Just like I wanted answers about the mystery hairball, I have also (admittedly) been pretty desperate for answers about my business lately.

Answers to questions like:

• Why were my first few clients so EASY to get, but now finding more has been like pulling teeth?

• How do I set up my client experience the “right” way like other service providers do?

• I need to fix my messaging but howww do I do that when I’m not even 100% sure what the problem is?

• What’s the right way to market to an audience that’s problem-aware, but not solution-aware?

• CAN I MAKE ALL OF THIS LESS OVERWHELMING SOMEHOW?!?

I could sit here and stew on these questions all week. All MONTH. (And I have)

But what good is that actually gonna do?

N-o-n-e.

All it’s gonna do is send me into an overthinking spiral until I’m caught up with a bunch of menial, mentally-draining work tasks that don’t actually matter all that much.

A couple weeks ago, I was working on my marketing plan for the next few months when I started getting all in my head about the “problem-aware” vs. “solution-aware” question I mentioned above. Which, yes, those are real marketing terms that DO matter, but not so much when you’re newer and the goal is just to get some traction.

My coach affirmed that what I REALLY needed to do was just start marketing and stay consistent with it, because the truth is you don’t know what you don’t know until you actually start doing the thing.

So I got my marketing plan done despite all my uncertain feelings about it (thanks, Kamina 🤣).

I don’t KNOW for certain if it’ll work.

But what I DO know is that if I hadn’t accepted the fact that I didn’t have all the answers, I’d still be in Notion tinkering with a list of post ideas but absolutely nothing concrete to actually show for it.

Who knows how much time I would have wasted before finally implementing something, anything?

Sometimes, I (and maybe you, too) get caught up in trying to figure out the right answers for things, or analyzing WHY certain things are happening, and end up wasting so much time that could’ve been spent taking actual, concrete action steps towards my goals.

Yes, sometimes analyzing things is good and useful.

All I’m saying is be careful not to waste TOO much time searching for the mystery hairball when what you should really be doing is moving forward.

And that’s not hyperbole.

I don’t even remember how it started. All I know is I somehow stumbled upon the 2016-2018 blogosphere (which is incrediblyyy different than today’s blogging landscape, IYKYK) and I was hooked.

I was obsessed with a handful of bloggers and binged allll the posts on their websites.

Soon, I wanted to try creating my own.

There were many nights in my college dorm room spent reading blog posts and daydreaming about what my OWN blog could look like.

I’d come up with some grand idea for a blog → come up with topics to write about → buy a domain name → then proceed to never actually write anything beyond maybe a post or two.

Every time I failed to stick to a publishing schedule I’d set, or lost interest in my topic, or got too in my head about it not being ~perfect~, I’d delete the entire thing and start fresh with a new domain.

(Seriously, if I had a punch card for every domain name I’ve owned and made a website for, I’d be rolling in rewards by now)

Eventually I learned about SEO and realized that people were actually making money from blogging (this was before the Google HCU updates that kind of decimated this way of making money).

And then I started viewing blogging as a money-making path.

The problem? I just couldn’t stay consistent.

I still had the same ole pattern as I did when I was just blogging as a hobby:

Start a site → write 1-3 posts → start feeling weird about it and bad about my lack of consistency → DELETE.

How to Start (and Stay Consistent-ish) With a Weekly Publishing Practice

After years of feeling like consistency just wasn’t possible for me, I did eventually cultivate a weekly publishing practice for myself: this newsletter!

If you’re thinking: We’re only on edition 19 though, so you’ve only been “consistent” for 19 weeks…

True. Buuuuut that’s still the longest I’ve EVER managed to maintain a writing and publishing practice.

I saw a post one time on Threads (can’t find it now) saying that ADHD time should be counted like dog years. So, you could argue that me staying consistent for 19 weeks is actually like staying consistent for 133 weeks in neurotypical time 🤣

But not only have I been able to maintain my publishing practice, it’s actually been… relatively easy.

There’s been no hair-pulling, fighting urges to burn it all down, or unbearable friction when I sit down to write this newsletter every week – which is what I used to always feel when trying to force myself to write weekly posts for my fifty-eleven failed blogs.

I’m not saying I’ve fully cracked the code on consistency, but I do think a few things have contributed to my ability to actually stick with this writing habit for 19 weeks (and I don’t see myself stopping anytime soon):

→ Choose a platform you actually like

You would think this would go without saying, but be careful that you’re not forcing yourself to stick to a platform or type of content that you don’t like.

I was dead-set on blogging for the longest time, but eventually realized that I was really bothered by the fact I couldn’t really tell if my posts were getting read. So I switched to email, where I can see exactly how many opens and clicks I get.

→ Give yourself a (loose) container of topics

Sure, you can talk about anything under the sun that interests you. That’s totally fine. But if growing a readership or audience is your goal, you’ll probably need a loose niche (though I have a love/hate relationship with that word, lol).

My container includes ADHD, content creation, creativity, and online business & marketing. That’s a huge umbrella of topics that gives me a lot to talk about without being TOO wide open.

→ If you don’t know where to start, set a FLEXIBLE structure/format

Some of us with ADHD need a lot of flexibility but ALSO need some kind of structure, otherwise we get totally overwhelmed with all the possibilities and it paralyzes us from creating.

Giving yourself a set structure to work with (at least when you’re starting out) may help. For example, this newsletter always starts with some kind of story/ramble, then transitions to a related tip or takeaway.

→ Create an alter ego

I talked about this a while back in a previous newsletter (you can read it here if you want!) – but giving myself an online “fake name” has done wonders for helping me with consistency.

My real name is Charlee Renee, so I just switched the Renee to “Rey.” For some reason, this teensy change makes me feel less vulnerable and more free to share things.

→ Don’t be too strict about your publishing schedule

I always aim to send out Side Notes on Tuesdays, but I leave the SEND time up in the air. This gives me a sense of accomplishment and dopamine hit every week when I meet my goal, but leaves room in case I need some extra time to finish it before hitting send.

And a quick reminder: It’s okay if you miss a week (or two, or three). No one’s gonna die if you do.

Especially if you’re not hiring an interior designer.

And especially if you’re someone with very little (or zero) taste.

I learned quickly that I don’t actually have a preferred style/aesthetic when it comes to ANYTHING.

Doors? Idk.

Cabinets? I couldn’t care less. Just make them black, I guess.

Trim? Who knew there were this many different styles of trim!?!

The only thing I cared about at ALL were the wall colors. I wanted at least one green room (I ended up getting multiple!), and I wanted my office to be pink (done!).

I was happy as a goose until I realized there were still at least 385839 more decisions left to be made.

Talk about utterly. exhausting.

At this point, my partner and I have picked the trim style and colors on probably 6 different occasions only to immediately forget what we decided on and start the process all over again.

I’M SICK AND TIRED OF MAKING DECISIONS.

(Decisions that we’ll likely be living with for years to come, so no pressure or anything)

It kinda feels like the final boss of a video game, like if I just beat this bad guy, I’ll have been through the toughest of the toughest.

The Tiny Decisions Draining Your Creative Fuel Tank

Last week I was talking about how, when I get overwhelmed, I start hyperfixating on a bunch of tiny things that, honestly? JUST DON’T FREAKING MATTER that much in the grand scheme of things.

I start wanting to tinker and fiddle with all these minute details rather than focusing on the things that feel “hard” or more mentally intensive – like creating something new or doing actual needle-moving tasks.

Maybe you do the same thing…

• You start wondering if you chose the right business name and the next thing you know, you’re trying on new ones.

• Maybe you go and change your social media handle (for the 57th time).

• You start fiddling with your brand colors, convinced you won’t be able to move forward until they’re absolutely chef’s kiss *perfect.*

• Maybe you start getting the itch to do something really drastic - like add/remove/maybe even entirely DELETE one of your platforms. (Like I almost did with my website last week - thanks to the amazing Kamina James for gently talking me out of that 🤣)

I’m not gonna say all of the little decisions weighing on you are unimportant. I don’t know you (or your business) like that!

BUT what I’ve noticed is that most of the time, when I’m stuck on tiny decisions, it’s usually because I’m avoiding something bigger and scarier.

Like actually finishing that project I’ve been “working on” for months.

Or finally sending that pitch I’ve been putting off.

Or sitting down to write the thing I said I’d write instead of reorganizing my entire content calendar for the fifty-eleventh time.

The tiny decisions become a really convenient place to park your brain when the “big stuff” starts feeling overwhelming.

The problem is that spending TOO much time dwelling on micro-decisions does little but drain your creative fuel tank. And for those of us with ADHD brains, our energy reserves only hold so much as is.

So… how can you prevent your creativity from being drained, or your business from being sabotaged by these little decisions?

Honestly, I’m still figuring this out myself, but here’s what I’m experimenting with:

→ Make yourself wait before deciding.

When you’re spinning your wheels on a choice, force yourself to sit on it for a bit (as painful as it is to not make a knee-jerk choice, lol).

I almost DELETED MY WEBSITE last week until I waited and got another perspective, which saved me a massive headache. Sometimes clarity comes from just giving it time rather than acting on your first impulse.

→ (!!) Give yourself the right tools to make decisions faster.

Forcing yourself to stop caring about little decisions isn’t ALWAYS the right move. Sometimes, giving yourself a framework or tool to make the decision quickly and confidently is a good move, too.

Last week, I was dead set on finalizing my brand colors. Instead of staring at a blank screen trying to pick brand colors from the entire rainbow, I bought Cedar June’s Brand Color Kit for just $5 and it helped me actually make the decision without getting stuck.

→ Ask yourself: “Will this decision matter in six months?

Will it even matter in three weeks?” If the answer is honestly no, give yourself a deadline to make a decision (even if you accept that it’s only temporary) and move on.

Done is better than perfect when it comes to the small stuff – at least that’s what I keep trying to tell myself. 😂

But seriously: the reality is you’ll feel MORE creative and your business will grow FASTER when you’re not constantly getting lost in the sea of endless tiny choices.

They’re now sitting boxed up, in giant piles throughout the house, which is basically a construction zone.

The other day, I was at the new house, and all I could think was:

Thank GOD I’m done with packing. I never wanna go through that again.

I knew packing was painful, but when you pile ADHD, executive function issues, and a sprinkle of perfectionism on top of it, it’s a recipe for a complete mental breakdown.

There was a point during the process where I was completely tapped out, crying on the floor, and my partner said to me, “Just start throwing stuff in boxes.”

Which, like, okay, logical.

But also, no??? Are you *actually* telling me I should pack the last of my kitchen mugs with literal rolls of toilet paper, and just feel fine about that???

My brain practically short-circuited at the thought.

But my partner DID have a point. I was making things unnecessarily complicated and time-consuming for myself all because I wanted to only pack things together that made sense together. I wanted things to be neat and tidy and easy to find during the unpacking process.

Mugs with other dishes.

Towels with toiletries.

Books with office decor.

It worked fine at first — until I got near the end and was left with a pile of random stuff that didn’t fit any clear category.

I kept wanting to start new boxes to keep things categorized and tidy, but that only stalled the process. Which is how I ended up STILL packing on the final day, exhausted and running out of time. 🙃

The Trap Of Over-Containerizing Your Creative Work

I’ve noticed I do the same thing with creativity.

Maybe you do, too.

I’m talking about only wanting to create things when those things fit neatly into our existing content buckets – whether that’s our online business, blog or email list, or social media platforms. Anything that doesn’t fit gets delayed, discarded, or maybe never created at all.

For me, anytime I have an “out of the box” idea, I find myself either:

1. Putting it off because I know it doesn’t fit my platforms, or

2. Wanting to start a whole new “box” (aka new platform) just to slot it inside

But this isn’t sustainable. And it ignores the fact that creativity doesn’t always need a perfect container — or to be posted online or made public, at all.

Sometimes your creativity can *just* be for you.

And sometimes the “off-brand” things you create can and should be shared – even if they don’t fit perfectly in the “box” you’ve built for your online brand or business.

Because really, if you’re building a business online, that business is also YOU. You’re the brand.

(I know this has been said a million times and is kind of cliche, don’t roll your eyes pls just hear me out)

Which means the “box” doesn’t REALLY matter as much as you think it does. If you start viewing yourself as the brand, then (almost) anything you make already automatically fits:

🧵 The off-topic Threads post (I’ve got about 3487 of those)

✏️ That photo of a random doodle you did in your notebook

💻 The essay that leans a bittt more personal than business-y

It’s all part of the bigger umbrella of YOU.

Some of my favorite creators are all the time mixing in random, human stuff with their “professional” content – and it’s one of the reasons I keep following them.

An example of someone who does this extremely well: Sara at Between the Lines Copy. She’s mainly a website copywriter, but her online presence encompasses sooo much more than that. She talks about being an ADHDer, being a single mom, and her intense love for Cape Cod and beach days.

Rather than just showing the business side, she shows up as her whole self online – and that makes her so much more relatable and real to people, which is why she’s attracted such a large following.

If you’re neurodivergent, it can feel compulsive to keep your platforms “clean” and streamlined. But you truly DON’T need a new platform for every creative pursuit or series.

So, here’s my challenge-slash-permission slip:

→ Don’t start a new “box” every time you have a new, different idea (not if you value your sanity).

→ Try dropping the “off brand” stuff into the platforms you already have. You might be surprised at how well-received it is.

→ And create some things just for you, without turning them into content – doodle, paint, journal, anything.

At the end of the day, we’re all humans trying to connect with other humans. NOT robots that are programmed to only talk about 1 single thing forever.

People like seeing the behind-the-scenes stuff. The messy stuff.

Sometimes, the kitchen + toilet paper combo really does make the most sense.

Well, after sending that newsletter, I miraculously survived the packing process, got my mountains of stuff (I didn’t think I owned that much, but I severely underestimated the quantity of my belongings lol) loaded up on a trailer, and hauled it to our new house.

Our new house, which is unfortunately NOT DONE. 😀

It’ll be livable (soon), but for now, well, let’s just say my living situation isn’t exactly ideal.

All that’s to say, I came this 🤏 close to skipping this newsletter this week – until I posted on Threads practically challenging myself to do it (and I got a new subscriber from that very post!!).

So basically, I accidentally tricked myself into accountability by posting on social media about sending this newsletter – and I also weirdly feel like I OWE my new subscriber this edition (hiii if you’re reading this 🤣)

And that’s what I want to talk about in today’s edition of Side Notes.

When To Use This Trick For Accountability, And When NOT To Use It

The thing with ADHD is that we rely mostly on extrinsic motivation to get things done.

→ Looming client deadlines (because if we don’t do the work, they’ll be upset and fire us and it’ll hurt our reputation).

→ Our driver’s licenses expiring (because if we wait until the last minute, we’ll be forced to go to the DMV one the most inconvenient day possible) (yeahhh that definitely didn’t happen to me today).

→ Paying bills (because if we don’t pay them, we’ll come home one day to the lights shut off).

Often, things that require intrinsic motivation to get done get pushed to the wayside by those of us with ADHD… because there’s no *real* tangible reward OR consequence that we’ll instantly get from doing/not doing it.

Like this newsletter.

No one’s holding a gun to my head and saying I have to send you an email every Tuesday, or else.

This newsletter isn’t a moneymaker for me right now. It’s not the way I’m getting clients for my content repurposing services. I write it mainly as a way to build name recognition. I want to be in people’s inboxes every week so they remember who I am and eventually associate me with the offers I promote. And, I also write and send this newsletter simply because I enjoy it.

All of the factors motivating me to write it are internal, not really external. So when things get stressful, it’s easy to say I’ll just skip writing it this week and pick back up next week.

Because it’s not a make or break task. It’s not a huge task, either (maybe about 1.5 hours a week), so it’s easy to justify skipping just one.

Which is why it’s a perfect scenario, imo, to use the forced accountability trick to make myself actually *do the thing.*

Publicly speaking things is powerful. (Which is why you’re reading this newsletter right now when earlier this morning I had EVERY intention of skipping this week.)

But there are also times when it’s NOT the right move. And situations where trying to force accountability may actually have the opposite of the desired effect.

This is usually when you’re talking about a really BIG or long-term goal.

There’s a scientific reason for it, too: When you have ADHD, talking about a goal prematurely can create a false sense of accomplishment (giving you an instant dopamine hit), which then reduces your motivation to actually see the goal through.

What comes next? Overwhelm when you realize you still actually have to *do* the thing. Oh, and a wicked dopamine crash.

So that’s why you need to be careful talking about your goals too early and know WHAT’S AT STAKE BY DOING SO.

Here’s a quick litmus test you can use:

✅ IF the thing you want to get done is small, contained, and/or recurring (like writing a weekly newsletter, going to the gym 2x/week, or finishing a task that’ll only take a couple hours), then public accountability can work wonders. It creates just enough pressure to get you moving without being too overwhelming.

❌ IF the thing you want to get done is big, long-term, or vague (like writing a whole book, starting a business from scratch, or overhauling your entire website), then blasting it out *before* you’ve actually gotten started will usually backfire. You’ll get the instant high feeling of “I’m really doing this!” — only to crash HARD when the reality sets in that you still have days, weeks, or more of work ahead.

So the rule of thumb is…

Small + short-term = share it

Big + long-term = keep it close to your chest til you’ve got at least SOME momentum

So… what’s a small thing you can call yourself out on and trick yourself into doing this week? 👀

👆 That’s me currently, sitting inside of a dang Starbucks writing this newsletter so I can avoid the very daunting task of packing up my entire apartment.

I’m moving in 4 days, and I’m not kidding you when I say that I haven’t. packed. a. single. item.

As I’m sitting here typing this, I’m completely aware of the problem I’m creating for myself. And how it’s not going to go away by ignoring it.

I did something similar the last time I moved out a little over a year ago. I waited until like the night before I had people coming to help me move before I started the packing process. Nightmare, I tell you.

You would think I’d have learned my lesson, buttt here we are.

Until I can finally coerce myself into going and packing up all my crap, I’m gonna work on taking care of some backend business-y tasks that will hopefully help me feel a little more organized in the long run.

If you’ve ever heard the advice to “eat the frog” right away, well… this is basically the opposite of that.

I’ll eat the frog. I will, I promise. But for now, I’d much rather not.

I’m not necessarily recommending or even condoning this kind of task avoidance, BUT if you’re in your own version of “I should be packing but I don’t wanna,” here’s how you can channel that energy into being semi-useful for your business.

Easy Business Wins For When You’re Avoiding The Big, Ugly Frog

💻 Update your website

If you’ve already built your website, the hard part is done, yes. But that doesn’t mean you should set it and forget it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone to someone’s website and everything on it was outdated or I just couldn’t find what I needed.

If you’re procrastinating on something else, why not make sure your website is in tip-top shape? Check things like:

→ Make sure your homepage is clear on what you actually do

→ Check for and remove any broken links

→ Include clear CTA buttons throughout your site (not just in one spot)

→ Update your Contact page and make sure your contact form works (if you have one)

📨 Send pitches

And don’t skim past this one just because you think you’d never cold pitch because it just wouldn’t work for you. It absolutely can, and will, if you do it enough and in the right way.

Cold pitching is how I got my first 2 clients for the new services I launched in June. It’s how I landed my longest-lasting, highest-paying client EVER when I was a freelance SEO writer.

You can also use pitching to land partnerships, get guest blog/podcast opportunities, or just straight up network.

It works, but like I said, you gotta be genuine and do it well. Here’s my 3-part formula for writing a good cold pitch to get you started.

💸 Get your business finances in order

Because if you have ADHD… chances are this is an area you’ve been neglecting. I’ve been in the process of setting up a new business bank account with Relay (who I’ve used in the past and loved) so I can easily see how much is coming in and going out for business-related things.

Other things you may want to look at:

→ Make sure your invoicing platform is set up (and still running) correctly

→ See if there are any business expenses you’re not really using that you could cut

→ Finally cancel that one monthly subscription you never use anymore

♻️ Set up templates you can reuse over and over

This is something super simple that can reduce friction and save you a bunch of time week to week.

For example, I send this newsletter every Tuesday, so I created a template in Flodesk so each week all I have to do is write – the formatting and design are already taken care of.

There was little I found more satisfying than a big 100% written on a test or a note in the margins about something clever I’d said in a paper.

And, well, I’m pretty much the same way as an adult. I love love loveee when someone tells me they like what I’m doing.

I guess you could say I’m a bit of a hoe for validation. (Words of affirmation may or may not be my love language.)

That’s something I used to shy away from admitting out loud, but now, I’m like, who cares? I think everyone, at least on some level, wants to feel seen/admired/appreciated. That’s just being human 🤷‍♀️

Recently, I set a goal while I’m still offering my email repurposing services in beta: work with 5 clients before taking it out of beta. I’m about halfway there, but I don’t want to drag it out forever. Ideally, I want to be done with the beta phase by the end of fall.

Which is still a few months away — but starting to inch closer and closer. And after a streak of relatively successful cold pitching, I’ve hit a bit of a plateau. It’s been discouraging, and I’ve caught myself spiraling into “am I even cut out for this?” territory.

Deep down, I *know* I am. But imposter syndrome/my inner critic/whatever you want to call it keeps getting in the way.

One Simple Trick To Keep Imposter Syndrome At Bay

One of the fun parts about being an online girlie is when you receive a compliment that makes you feel on top of the world… for about six hours, before it falls out of your brain and you promptly forget it ever happened.

One day, you’re thinking you’re the best thing since sliced bread, and the next? Just a chewed up piece of gum off the bottom of someone’s shoe.

For me, personally, I really need regular validation to feel like I’m providing value and doing good work.

And there’s nothing inherently wrong with that. The problem comes when you start to depend on that validation just a littleeee too much.

Because hate to break it to ya (and myself), but no one is going to validate you/your work/your ideas all the time. Especially online, where you’re one voice in a sea of thousands.

So, since no one’s available to sit next to you all day and whisper reassuring words, that means you’re just gonna have to do it yourself…

Enter: the kudos drawer.

AKA where I save all the best things people say about me and my work so I can look back on them and remember that I am, in fact, cool.

I’ve had one for a long time in a dedicated album on my phone, but I never remembered to check it.

So I rebuilt it in Notion. And I’m sharing the template (for free) so if you want it, you can have it too.

CLICK HERE TO GET THE TEMPLATE

In mine, I save things like:

• Screenshots of DMs or emails where someone has complimented my work

• Kind notes from clients about how I helped them/made their lives easier

• Things that don’t feel like compliments but still gave me a lil dopamine boost (like the time I sent a cold pitch to a well-known copywriter in the space, and she liked the pitch so much she shared it as an example of how to cold pitch to her mentorship students)

Now, I’m not the inventor of this concept. It’s something people have been doing forever – athletes and highlight reels, corporate folks and performance notes, etc.

But when you work on your own (or even just create things online), the feedback cycle is wayyy messier. More random. Sometimes you’ll get a flood of praise after submitting a client project or an exceptionally written post.

Other times, you’ll spend hours on something and get nothing but crickets in return.

Which, for our neurodivergent brains, can quickly spiral into feelings of defeat and like we just don’t belong.

That’s why a kudos drawer (or praise folder, or compliment collection, or whatever you want to call it) is so beneficial. It’s about building a collection of highlights and kind words you can revisit when your inner critic is trying to run the show.

Every time I scroll back through it, I remember that even as much as it may not feel like it sometimes, some people *do* actually like hearing what I have to say.

I *do* know what I’m doing (somewhat).

I’m *not* just screaming into the void.

When you keep your receipts — when you make your own case file of proof — it gets harder and harder for your annoying inner critic to win.

And future you will be thanking you.

And did I mention I landed the call through a cold pitch email, so this was her very first impression of me???

And did I also mention that this was my first discovery call, like, EVER???

Maybe I’m being slightly dramatic — I highly doubt she cared about the boxes in my office (that I’d hastily tried to push out of the way before starting the Google Meet) OR that my cat was being a menace in the background.

After all, most everyone loves cats.

But this was my first ever discovery call and I was incredibly nervous about it.

Despite having two stints of full-time freelance writing under my belt, I’d never actually *hosted* a call of any kind. Especially not the sales kind.

I’d never had a need to. All of my past clients either came through job boards like Upwork or from emails that turned directly into work (no calls required).

Which is how I found myself freaking out about my first discovery call on a random Monday evening despite having worked with more than a handful of clients in the past.

Most of the call was a blur. We chatted for a minute, then we dived in. I asked her a couple questions, then I started bouncing between trains of thought with seemingly no rhyme or reason.

It was like I’d galloped straight into the arena without bothering to keep my eye on the barrels. 🐎

In all seriousness, I ended that call feeling pretty deflated. I didn’t feel like I’d made a good impression or explained the value I was offering clearly. Even though I’d prepared to the best of my ability, I hadn’t really considered or thought about the right things.

Which — duh. There was no way for me to anticipate exactly how the call was going to go considering it WAS, in fact, my first rodeo.

Still, the rest of the day I couldn’t stop thinking about the call and everything I should have said/done and didn’t.

But (thankfully), there IS a happy ending and a point to this story.

The Two Wins Hidden Inside Every Awkward First Attempt

Miraculously, the client DID end up signing on to work with me — woohoo!!

And more importantly: I have a much better idea of what to expect the next time I take a discovery call.

I now have a better understanding of how to take control of the conversation, what questions to ask, and where to guide the convo so that both myself AND the prospect get the information we need.

I can think of multiple other instances like this where I didn’t know WTF I was doing, tumbled my way through an awkward attempt, and somehow made it to the other side:

• The first article assignment I wrote for a client without having an outline to start from

• The first professional invoice I made and sent

• The first time I had to choose and set up a CRM software to manage clients

There are lots of first rodeos to be had in business (and just life in general) and you’re not gonna hit a home run every time. As unfortunate as that is for perfectionists out there, which I know many of us ADHDers are.

But as awkward and embarrassing as those first attempts may feel to you, the truth is that the person on the other end doesn’t necessarily know it’s your first time unless you actually tell them.

Which means the only person truly keeping score of how “bad” it was… is most likely you.

Worst case scenario:

1. You prove to yourself you can actually do the thing

2. You learn what to do differently so you can improve (even just a little) next time

And the best case scenario? Both of those things PLUS a win if you’re lucky. Maybe a messy win, but still a win.

So if there’s a first rodeo you’ve been avoiding because you’re convinced you’ll fumble it — maybe you will. But you’ll live. And you’ll be better for it (and maybe even bring home the buckle 🤠).

One thing I hate is cooking. It takes forever, I suck at it, and I’m always starving halfway through the process.

But, since he agreed to do all the actual work of putting dinner together, picked up some wine, and framed it as a cutesy lil picnic — I agreed to his proposition.

We headed up to our new house (that’s still very much a construction zone), and set up on the freshly built deck overlooking the mountains.

Anddddd he proposed. And I said yes of course!

So that was how I spent my birthday.

It was truly such a sweet moment and I love so much how it played out.

I was on a high for the rest of the day, and the day after that.

Then, the next day, I headed back to my own little apartment… and:

🧽 The sink was still full of the dishes I’d been putting off
📋 My to-do list still existed (with the same items that were on it pre-engagement)
🛏️ I still hit snooze on my alarm and stayed in bed too long

Turns out — getting engaged isn’t like some magic switch that changes your entire life instantly. It didn’t automatically change my daily habits or routines.

Which, yes — I knew that already. But it’s easy to assume you’ll suddenly feel like a Brand New Person™ after a big life milestone.

The Truth Is, Milestones Don’t Make You New

The same is true for BUSINESS milestones.

I remember the second (yes, second) time I went full-time as a freelance writer. I’d saved an emergency fund, built up a client roster, and was so excited to quit my office job so I could focus all of my efforts on my business.

I thought as soon as I quit that everything would *feel* different.

I imagined I’d jump out of bed every day, power through my client work feeling energized the whole time, and have plenty of time to spare for other creative projects before the end of the work day.

Yeah, no.

Because even though my job changed… I didn’t.

I still procrastinated all the time. Prioritized the wrong things. Avoided the same uncomfortable parts of freelancing that I’d told myself I just “didn’t have time for” when I was still working full-time in the office (that was a lie, of course).

I didn’t become a Brand New Person™. I was still *me* — with all the same old habits, tendencies, and beliefs.

I assumed external change would automatically lead to internal change. (It doesn’t.)

Sure, reaching milestones is great…

• Your first 100 followers or subscribers

• Signing on your first client

• Your first revenue milestone

• Etc, etc, etc

But don’t expect them to transform your life all on their own.

You still have to do the internal work on yourself to become the person you want to be.

I had this vision in my head of how it was going to look — every week, I’d share a story about my life that beautifully and seamlessly (somehow) turned into a takeaway other ADHD creatives would find useful.

Nothing that felt too bossy or “how to.” Just a soft reframe or thought process you could take with you to chew on.

But then I sent an email literally titled You gotta put your whole a$s into it.

And of course I can’t NOT mention last week’s newsletter, which was typed up in a Wendy’s-fueled rage and was basically just me yapping about my new services.

Let’s just be real… there’s nothing “soft” about these “Soft Notes” I’ve been sending.

And if I’m really being honest with myself, there’s nothing soft about *me* either. 🤪

Basically — this is me saying that I picked the wrong name when I started this newsletter and I HAVE TO FIX IT BC IT’S DRIVING ME INSANE.

So I’m renaming Soft Notes to Side Notes.

(& if you’re at all curious why, read to the end of this email and I’ll explain 🫶🏻)

Which brings us to this week’s tip…

How To Rename Something Without Feeling Weird About It

Something I’ve noticed in myself — and I believe this is also true for many other ADHD creatives — is that I love the process of conceptualizing things, but that sometimes I make naming decisions kind of prematurely.

Which is exactly how you end up with a newsletter called something that makes absolutely zero sense, or a business name that once felt amazing but you now hate, or an offer that’s named something so ridiculous that only you know what it even is that you’re trying to sell.

But even when we know a name we chose isn’t right…the prospect of renaming can feel icky, overwhelming, or just plain awkward.

Because then people will know you “changed your mind.”

Or they’ll see you as fickle or flakey.

At least, those are the things we tell ourselves.

But it’s way better to rename something when you feel that something is off rather than sitting with a name you dislike. There’s no shame in picking a new name that better reflects you and your thing — whatever it may be.

I’d be willing to bet that I’m not the only creative who’s released something, instantly regretted the name, but felt weird about changing it — so just sucked it up instead.

If that’s you, here are two paths for renaming something in a way that feels a little less weird:

→ Tell the story (like I just did)

Something I’ve come to learn lately is that truly everythinggg can be content if you want it to be. Instead of hoping no one notices the name change, preemptively mention it. Say exactly what changed, what wasn’t working, and what led to the pivot.

Even if you think no one noticed or cares (because honestly, they’re probably not paying that much attention) it makes you come across as more transparent, and turns the renaming/rebranding into content.

→ Pretend the original was a “beta” version

If you don’t necessarily want to draw attention to the name change by turning it into cOnTeNt, just treat the original name/version of whatever your thing is like a rough draft. A beta version, if you will. And the only thing that rough drafts/beta versions are meant to be? Imperfect.

You picked something that felt right, it got you going, and now it’s evolved and you’re refining. That’s normal. You launched something and now you’re iterating, and sometimes that in itself is enough. So this is your permission slip not to make a big deal out of it if you don’t want to.

If you stuck around this long, thanks for reading this week’s edition of Side Notes! And as promised, my reasoning for renaming Soft Notes to Side Notes is simply this — I’m not soft, but what I AM is a yapper who’s also certified in side tangents.

Hence all my em dashes and parentheses… I just gotta fit two (or three) trains of thought into one sentence whenever and wherever possible. 🫠

​​So all that’s to say, the format’s gonna stay mostly the same. I’m just embracing the chaotic-ness of it.

I am about to lose my ever-loving FREAKING mind over here.

And I’ll be honest — I really didn’t want to write this newsletter this week because my stupid lil car just keepsss testing me.

Seriously — the past two weeks, it’s died and stranded me twice for two seemingly unrelated reasons. I just so happened to get lucky twice in the same calendar month.

And today, after pulling out of the drive-thru with my stupid lil Wendy’s order, it stalled and died YET AGAIN while I was waiting at a red light. For no real reason.

Of course, me being on my last straw, I turned the ignition off and back on, then simply drove away like nothing ever happened — so I could come home and write my stupid lil newsletter.

Truthfully, I had something else planned for today’s email, but listen — I need to vent. You feel me? But I know my stupid lil vent sesh isn’t what you’re here for. You’re here for the tips.

So here’s this week’s motto: if it’s not one thing, it trulyyyy is another. It seems to be the unfortunate reality that when one thing goes wrong, there are usually more bad things soon to follow. 🙃

Which is why, when it comes to content creation, you should actively make things easier on yourself — not harder.

I’m talking about *repurposing* your content. Aka… just using what you’ve already got.

When Life Throws Curveballs, Repurpose — Don’t Reinvent

Because when everything’s suddenly on fire (your car dies, your mental health tanks, you get sick, etc etc etc), the pressure to scramble and create brand new content from scratch just might be your final straw.

Let’s be clear: I’m not saying you HAVE to keep creating when life gets rough. There’s nothing wrong with taking a break if you need it. I’ve missed sending this newsletter twice in the past month, and while I don’t love that, it kinda just is what it is.

What I am saying is — when deep down you really *want* to keep up your content game, but life is making it difficult to stay consistent, lean into what you’ve already made and repurpose it for other platforms/formats.

Your blog posts, newsletters, and social media captions? They’re gold mines of stories and tips just waiting to be repackaged into content that *feels* new but technically isn’t — and is way easier for you to create when your capacity is low.

Here are some simple ways you can repurpose and stretch old content:

• Turn an email into a more in-depth blog post

• Slice a blog post with multiple H2s into individual bite-sized emails

• Use newsletter stories + life updates as Instagram or Threads posts

• Expand a social media post into long-form blog/newsletter content

• Combine related emails into a downloadable PDF or lead magnet

Those are just a few ways you can put your old content back to work.

Buttt, here’s the catch: to do this well, you need a system — a way to easily access and reference your past content, so it’s organized and ready to rework into whatever you want next.

Which is exactly what I do at Sunny Send Up with my email repurposing services.

If you have an email newsletter and want to get more mileage out of the emails you send (bc trust me, I know they take effort), I can help you build + maintain a newsletter archive OR repurpose your emails into longer form content like blog posts (and vice versa).

Hit reply or inquire here to learn more.

Or, just hit reply and tell me how many em dashes you think I managed to fit into this 600-word email. (It’s an ungodly amount)

Seriously – we probably played through the intro of the game so many times, he could recite it in his sleep.

I wanted things to be PERFECT. I wanted all my Pokemon to be the same gender, caught in matching PokeBalls (aesthetic purposes), and I wanted to make it through the entire game without losing a single battle.

It sounds pretty ridiculous, but it was almost like a compulsion of sorts.

I was a serial start over-er – and honestly, I still kind of am. But nowadays, it’s with creative projects. Like the 4873 blogs I’ve started and abandoned. And my Substack.

And I know I can’t be the only one.

Maybe it’s a little bit of an ADHD thing, a little bit of a perfectionist thing.

Every time a plan goes off the rails, or I fail to do something the way I *wanted* to have done it, I get this urge to burn things all to the ground and start over ✨fresh✨.

Because if I start over, that means I can do things better – right?

No. Lol.

But even KNOWING that, I still had the urge to do the “burn it all down and start over like nothing ever happened” with my Substack — which I started last year, posted on twice, and then promptly abandoned.

When I started itching to write on there again, I was tempted to delete my whole publication and start over with a brand new one. Instead, I forced myself to give it a cleanup and a new name rather than nuking it.

I felt good about that decision… then life came for this newsletter, too.

Literally the same week I was bragging on Threads about sending this newsletter 8 weeks in a row, guess what? I missed a freaking newsletter. And to be honest, the fact that I killed my streak drives me crazy in the worst way.

Buttttt in the grand scheme of things, it literally does not matter.

So yes — this week’s newsletter is basically a long-winded way of saying: I rebooted my Substack! You can read the first post since my hibernation here → Help! I forgot how to write

And that brings us to this week’s tip…

3 Ways To Start Again Instead Of Starting Over

Because if you keep starting over every time something doesn’t go to plan, or every time you ruin a streak or “mess something up,” you’re never going to get anywhere with anything.

A ✨fresh start✨ sounds pretty dang romantic until you realize you’ve spent weeks, months, or years working on something and are still at ground zero.

Starting again is harder — and often more uncomfy — than burning things down, especially when you struggle with shiny object syndrome. But here are a few ways you can ease the transition:

→ Switch things up

This could mean renaming or rebranding your thing so it *feels* fresh. That’s what I did with my Substack — I gave it a new name, picked out some new colors and stock images, and voila. It feels new enough that I’m actually excited about writing there again.

You could also switch up the format/content of your thing — refocus it on a slightly different subject, change your work/posting schedule, etc.

→ Use the break/mess-up as material

You can literally just use what “went wrong” as content or talking material to break the ice on your return, kind of like what I’m doing right now.

This could look like: talking about the why behind your absence or mistake, explaining something you learned from it, or something that you were surprised that did/didn’t happen while you were in ghost-mode.

→ Burn it *halfway* down

If you’re completely changing directions, or feel that your previous work is holding you back in some way, deleting some of it may be the answer. Still, though, resist the urge to burn everything to the ground. Just get rid of the stuff that’s really bothering you to keep around.

It’s the perfect middle ground — you get a semi-fresh slate without having to start from scratch with your audience, branding, etc.

Hi [first name]!

I’ve been following you on Threads for a little while now, and that led me to your blog, which then led me to your newsletter (all of which have been super helpful as someone currently in the throes of trying to DIY my website, lol).

I saw that you’re switching up the format of [newsletter] a bit for the summer—so fun!—and was wondering if you’re still interested in maintaining your Substack archive. If so, I’d love to help.

Since it’s officially ~summer break~, I can imagine you’re probably more time-crunched. It’s a small thing, but could be one less thing to worry about—so you can spend more time hosting inflatable water slide playdates! 😎

Before I ramble on too much: I’m Charlee, a former SEO content writer in the SaaS space. I’ve worked with agencies and brands of all sizes, but now I’m pivoting into email-centric services for creatives (which is why I’m sliding into your inbox with this pitch!).

One of the things I’m offering is newsletter archive management, and I’d love for you to be one of my first clients—especially during ⛱️Summer Hours⛱️.

Here’s what I could help with:

• Keep your Substack archive updated weekly until your newsletter goes back to its regular scheduling programming (or longer if you wanted!)

• Maintain a searchable internal archive (via a platform of your choice)

• Optionally: Catch up your Substack archive so it’s fully up to date

I’m offering this at beta pricing for the summer—low commitment for you, and would be incredibly helpful to me as I streamline and polish the offer.

For more info about me + my services, here’s my website:

https://sunnysendup.com

(To be super transparent, she’s still a work in progress, lol.)

Let me know what you think! I’m available to chat about this over email or on a quick call sometime this week if you’re interested.

Thanks and have a great day! :)

-Charlee

A 3-Part Formula For Writing Cold Pitches That Don’t Suck

It’s no secret that cold pitching gets a really bad rap in the online space. It can feel really intrusive and straight-up annoying when done incorrectly — and I’d argue that the majority of people ARE cold pitching completely wrong.

Now, I’m not trying to crown myself the 👑cold pitch queen👑 or anything. I don’t always do it perfectly… BUT I do get responses to my pitches frequently.

And I strongly believe that’s because of the effort I put into them.

If you’re gonna use one of the most universally hated marketing strategies out there, half-a$sing just ain’t gonna cut it.

Here’s how to write good, non-sleazy cold pitches that *don’t* get immediately sent to the inbox trash can:

👀 1 – Prove you’re not a rando

When you cold pitch someone, they have no idea who the heck you are. It’s jarring, which is why you need to establish some form of connection asap.

How I did this in my email:

• Throwing in a reference to a specific Threads post I’d seen — “inflatable water slide playdates”

• Mentioned her newsletter and its format change, which I would only know as someone ACTUALLY subscribed to it

Anyone can lie and say “I’ve been following you on social media” or “I read your blog.”

So DO NOT fake this part, because I promise you the person receiving your email will be able to smell it instantly.

✏️ 2 – Show you did your homework

First things first, GET THEIR NAME RIGHT. I’ve seen way too many screenshots of cold pitches that get someone’s first name wrong.

You also need to be aware of what exactly that person offers and whether it conflicts with what you’re offering.

You wouldn’t wanna cold pitch a website copywriter with website copywriting services — clearly, they’ve got that covered.

And it reallyyy should go without saying, but never send generic cold pitches to masses of people at once.

Bc if you can’t even take the time to type their name or read their website, why would they ever give you money? (They won’t.)

🧩 3 – Offer an easy “yes”

You’re not a mind reader. You’ll never know 100% whether the person you’re pitching wants/needs what you’re offering.

But you can make a pretty educated guess with context clues.

In my pitch example, I knew the person archived their weekly newsletter on Substack, but I could clearly see that it wasn’t being kept up to date.

That told me that she either:

A) wasn’t interested in keeping up the archive anymore
or
B) just didn’t have the time/energy/capacity to keep it up and could use my help.

If you’re offer a timely solution to a problem someone is having right now, it makes it way easier for them to say “yes.”

And if you want more examples of cold pitches I’ve written that’ve *actually* gotten responses, hit reply and let me know. I’d be happy to send you some. :)

What I didn’t mention was how he found it —

Turns out, all it took was a simple Google search of my name.

That honestly surprised me a bit. I figured a search would bring up my social profiles, some of my old college projects, and past work for clients.

I didn’t really expect it would surface my online presence.

And I didn’t love that. It was just a little too easy for him to pull up EVERYTHING I’d been working on… and it made me feel way too “seen.”

That’s when I realized that if I wanted to keep creating freely without getting too in my head about it, I was gonna have to create some space between “online me” and “IRL me.”

Which is basically a long-winded way of saying… I’m rEbRaNdInG online from Charlee Renee to ✨Charlee Rey✨.

The name is still me, but it’s different enough from my actual government name that there’s no crossover when you Google it.

Honestly, it’s such a small change. But it’s not a nothingburger — and I feel like a lot of online creators, especially those who are neurodivergent, would feel so much more free to show up if they adopted their own “alter ego.”

How An Alter Ego Can Help You Show Up More Freely

Authors have pen names. Performers have stage names. So why shouldn’t online creators do the same?

I think it’s something a lot of us don’t even consider. I didn’t even really think of it as a possibility, personally. But once I started paying attention, I realized that it’s actually more common than I had originally assumed.

A couple notable examples I’ve come across recently:

• Sara Noel of Between The Lines Copywriting — turns out “Noel” isn’t actually her last name.

• Mariah Magazine — as cool as it would be to have the last name “Magazine,” that’s actually just her old MySpace handle, repurposed for her business.

The point is: if showing up as your full, legal self feels too vulnerable, you’re allowed to tweak things to make yourself feel safer — even if it’s just a simple name change.

(Or maybe you just don’t like your legal name. Maybe it’s hard to spell or pronounce. That’s reason enough.)

And yes — you can absolutely do this even if you’re providing services and still come across as legit and professional.

Nobody on the internet really cares what your name is.

So if you’re feeling weird about putting your whole self out there… don’t.

Pick a random name. Just go by your first name. Or use your old Tumblr handle if you want.

You don’t owe the internet your full, legal self — and a little separation can be good. In fact, it may be exactly what you need to stop overthinking all the “what-ifs” and just start.

It isn’t about trying to hide, or feeling like you’re doing something wrong — it’s just about giving yourself the security you feel good about showing up.